DEEPEN THE EXPERIENCE THROUGH SAVORING AND PRESENCE

Why do good things seem as if they come and go quickly, and difficult times feel as if they linger?  Why does the past seem so “rosy” and as if the “good old days” have slipped through our fingers?

Humans tend to look back at past events with “rose colored glasses” and truly there is an adaptive component to this point of view.  Reflecting on prior events with a more positive “lens” tends to create more hope and optimism about the future, builds more positive affect and regulates our emotions so we can look forward to things even more.  The stories from the past come alive with a great story and we can even romanticize or build in additional social and emotional aspects that didn’t exist.  Additionally, we often experience greater strength of emotion when thinking about the past, and this can be true for perceptions about both positive and negative events. 

To summarize this phenomenon, when we reflect on neutral or positive past events, we tend to perceive those as more positive and have heightened emotion when thinking about them.  This leads to viewing the “good old days” as better than today, or our current place in life. 

The goal is not to stop this overly positive, sometimes amplified version of past events but rather use what we know about human emotion, thinking, and behavior to strengthen our emotional connection to current events, people, and situations. 

How to make this come alive:

1. Build “savoring” into your daily life.

   1. Use your five senses and thoughts and actions to increase the length of time you linger and breath it all in, deepen your connection to current events and increase both duration and intensity of those emotions.

2. How to do this:

   1. Let’s say you are looking forward to an upcoming event.  For instance, you are preparing for a party.  You have planned and given great effort towards this event.

   2. As you are planning, running errands, and feeling as if you are scattered to and fro…take a pause 2-3 minutes to breath and capture the sights, sounds, smells, feelings, sensations, and thoughts that are around you right now.  Take a moment to imagine yourself feeling proud at your event and perhaps even receiving “congratulations” or “thank yous” from others around you.

      1. Allow yourself time to bring this in and let the anticipation build.

   3. When you are at your party, use this same technique.  Stand off to the side and go through a similar exercise.  You have much more to visualize and capture when you are in the event you imagined. 

   4. These techniques can be used with any situation/event/experience. 

      1. Start with the magic of something small you do every day.

3. Savoring and deepening experiences can build a “bounce back” or resilience strategy by counteracting negative emotions, prolonging the “good”, and building more positive affect (your internal emotional state).

   1. This can serve as a “teflon coating” to repel external stressors and is the best state to be your most creative self.

   2. A wonderful resource for more information can be found in Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s “Broaden and Build” theory which scientifically demonstrates expansion of positive emotions strengthening our emotional, social, cognitive, and physical resources!